I woke up half an hour early today with the sole purpose of stopping at Starbucks to attain my perfect fall combo: a peppermint mocha and a salted caramel cake pop. Yes, I know it’s not exactly traditional to eat cake pops at 7 a.m. but it was cold and I was cranky and well, I like cake pops.
I boarded the N train headed downtown, cake pop and coffee in hand, so excited to start my day with a sugary treat, which would hopefully wake me up and prepare me for the 12-hour day ahead of me. But as we stopped at the Union Square station and I unwrapped my cake pop, what looked like the female version of Snoop Dog snatched it out of my hand and fled the train. This is not a lie. The gold-chained bitch literally stole my cake pop. Normally I would chase after her — I mean you don’t just steal another girl’s morning dessert. But before I knew it she was gone and the train was moving along its path, unaware of the tragedy that had just occurred.
Now I’m cake pop-less and completely not ready to face the day. #fatgirlproblems